Cool Finds

I bought a few cool things yesterday (and on sale, too!) that I am really exited to take with me to Paris, and I want to share them because they are too cool not to share.

This one is probably the most amusing. I'm not a very raunchy person and I don't swear all that much, but even though I know I won't actually be using most of what's in this book, it would be really useful to know these things! That way I could better understand what people are saying in the real world, not just proper French. Also, it's just funny to read! It does have lots of useful slang in it too that would make me look less lame to the French people who are my age.

I had to pick this up the moment I saw it. Apparently Paris is a great city for walking adventures, and I love walking around and exploring places, so this seemed perfect. I don't think it would be a value buy if someone were to go for a week or so vacation in Paris, because there are 50 total walking routes, but since I'll be staying for nearly a year, this will be the perfect way to explore Paris. I'm really excited to put these to use!

Of course, I had to get a general guidebook as well, so I chose this one. I explored a few different guidebooks when I went to London, but I liked this one the best. It has lots of useful information in it, and on top of that it's very nice to look at. What can I say? It's the art history major in me.

So now I'm set book-wise for my trip. Let's hope that preparing for the other aspects of heading to France go just as smoothly as buying these items!

Culture Shock

I'm really curious as to how I'll deal with culture shock when I get to Germany, or if I will go through this feeling at all.

You see, when I went to England I didn't feel any sort of shock about my new environment at all. Granted, I do know the language of that country, so perhaps that's why I didn't feel anything related to culture shock. But it was definitely different from America; I just didn't feel overwhelmed in a bad way by the differences. I loved learning about them! It was such an adventure. I'm not sure if I felt this way because I was only there for 10 days or because I speak English fluently, but I hope that my transition in Germany goes smoothly as well.

I am most worried about not knowing much German, because I know that being in an environment where English is not the primary language will be a huge adjustment for me. I have never been to a place where English is not primary. I am blessed to live in a cultural melting pot in the US, so I hear other languages all of the time, but English is always spoken because I live in America. And in England, English was always spoken because I was in the UK (not exactly the same as American English, but close enough so I can recognize it and easily talk to everyone). I guess I've been to Mexico, but the few times I went I never had to deal directly with the culture or the native people. I wonder how I'll react when I hear everyone speaking German instead of English all of the time. I know that many Germans, especially in the big cities like Köln, speak fairly good English as well, but they are not native speakers and they won't just go yelling English in the streets. I definitely need to learn more German, and really study hard when I get there. Thankfully I'm immersing myself in Germany, so I will have many opportunities to improve and then the language barrier will slowly go away.

I also don't really know what life is like in Germany yet. What are their grocery stores like? How do people normally travel? What do people do with their friends when they just want to hang out? When are mealtimes? What's the pace of life like? Things like that. I'm very excited to learn though, so I'm hoping that my excitement plus my experience with another culture previously are signs that my transition to German life won't be difficult.

I'm just really glad I found a family that is really nice and fun. I think that will make adjusting to German life that much easier. If anyone has any advice on dealing with moving to a new country, I'm all ears!

On Bravery and Traveling

This is the single most common comment that I received when I told people that I was traveling to London on my own, and that I am getting again when I tell people that I am moving to Germany for a year to be an au pair:

"You are so brave!"

I was always confused when I heard this, no matter how often I was told this. Who, me? Brave? Pshhh.

I've never considered myself to be a particularly brave person. I am scared of spiders and most other bugs. I am not too fond of the dark. I am startled by sudden, loud noises. I cannot watch any horror or scary movie, no matter how "light" it might be, without completely freaking out. I had a panic attack in a haunted house and had to be escorted out by the workers. I started sobbing before I even walked into Knott's Scary Farm, just from anticipating the horror before me. I probably shouldn't even be admitting any of this because now anyone reading this will think I am a total wimp.

So of course, hearing myself being described as "brave" just didn't make any sense in my mind. Not only did it not make sense because I don't consider myself particularly brave, but it didn't make sense because nothing about traveling on my own genuinely scared me. I was simply not at all scared to go. Excited, yes. Over the moon, yes. But scared? Worried? Anxious? Not at all. Of course, there are things you have to consider and be careful about when you are a woman traveling alone, but I wasn't actively afraid for my well-being. How could I be brave in traveling alone, in going on a genuine adventure, if I was not at all scared to do so?

But then I thought about it for a very long time, and I recently came to a realization. I had been viewing "brave" and "scared" from only one lens.

There are many different kinds of brave. I may not be brave when it comes to the little things, like spiders crawling by my feet, or being alone in the dark, or a moment of horror in a movie. But I realized that I am a lot stronger, and a lot braver, than I give myself credit for though. See, when it comes to embracing life's adventures, and standing up for the ideas and people I love, and being comfortable with who I am, I am strong. I am brave.

And then I realized that those who told me I was brave most likely did not feel this way about themselves. They are scared to do what I had done, what I am doing, and because of this they find me brave. And I find that to be tragically sad. People should not be afraid to go after what they have always wanted in life. They should not be afraid to be themselves, and to live authentically. And yet so, so many people in this world are. Now, that is truly scary.

I hope that more people discover that they really are brave, and that they too can do what they never thought they could do before. I know I am still in the process of discovering this myself. And if we all discover, together, that we are capable of far more than we thought possible, then perhaps that realized potential will make this world a little bit better.