On Bravery and Traveling

This is the single most common comment that I received when I told people that I was traveling to London on my own, and that I am getting again when I tell people that I am moving to Germany for a year to be an au pair:

"You are so brave!"

I was always confused when I heard this, no matter how often I was told this. Who, me? Brave? Pshhh.

I've never considered myself to be a particularly brave person. I am scared of spiders and most other bugs. I am not too fond of the dark. I am startled by sudden, loud noises. I cannot watch any horror or scary movie, no matter how "light" it might be, without completely freaking out. I had a panic attack in a haunted house and had to be escorted out by the workers. I started sobbing before I even walked into Knott's Scary Farm, just from anticipating the horror before me. I probably shouldn't even be admitting any of this because now anyone reading this will think I am a total wimp.

So of course, hearing myself being described as "brave" just didn't make any sense in my mind. Not only did it not make sense because I don't consider myself particularly brave, but it didn't make sense because nothing about traveling on my own genuinely scared me. I was simply not at all scared to go. Excited, yes. Over the moon, yes. But scared? Worried? Anxious? Not at all. Of course, there are things you have to consider and be careful about when you are a woman traveling alone, but I wasn't actively afraid for my well-being. How could I be brave in traveling alone, in going on a genuine adventure, if I was not at all scared to do so?

But then I thought about it for a very long time, and I recently came to a realization. I had been viewing "brave" and "scared" from only one lens.

There are many different kinds of brave. I may not be brave when it comes to the little things, like spiders crawling by my feet, or being alone in the dark, or a moment of horror in a movie. But I realized that I am a lot stronger, and a lot braver, than I give myself credit for though. See, when it comes to embracing life's adventures, and standing up for the ideas and people I love, and being comfortable with who I am, I am strong. I am brave.

And then I realized that those who told me I was brave most likely did not feel this way about themselves. They are scared to do what I had done, what I am doing, and because of this they find me brave. And I find that to be tragically sad. People should not be afraid to go after what they have always wanted in life. They should not be afraid to be themselves, and to live authentically. And yet so, so many people in this world are. Now, that is truly scary.

I hope that more people discover that they really are brave, and that they too can do what they never thought they could do before. I know I am still in the process of discovering this myself. And if we all discover, together, that we are capable of far more than we thought possible, then perhaps that realized potential will make this world a little bit better.